


Drunk and Disorderly

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: AU, M/M, gwaine is covered in paint, its written for a friend, ive not watched Merlin in ages so sorry if this is awful, lance is a policeman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 17:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3618783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwaine is going to kill Merlin for this one, or not because even though he's being arrested the police officer is cute and also he has paint in his hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunk and Disorderly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xXFoxtaiLXx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXFoxtaiLXx/gifts).



"Really, drunk and disorderly?" Gwaine was stunned, of all the things he had expected when he woke up this morning, this was low on the list. "I'm not even that drunk."

"Really." The cop facing him was clearly trying not to laugh and that was almost as bad as being arrested while soaked head to toe in various shades of blue poster paint.

"Can I go home and shower first? I really don't want to let this dry in my hair." He gestured at his head, where the paint was already getting worryingly tacky. This was going to be a bitch to wash even if he got into the shower within the next ten minutes.

"I'm afraid you should have thought about your hair before you decided that it was a good idea to race the display bikes around Toys R Us" the cop was still trying valiantly but the laughter was definitely there now and if this wasn't already horrifying Gwaine would think the guy was adorable.

"You can clean up as best you can at the station." Gwaine scowled, it wasn't like it was his idea but he couldn't exactly expect the police to believe that sweet and innocent Merlin had been the one to propose the race. The bloody traitor had vanished as soon as the shelf had gone down too. One day he would figure out how he always managed to get away.

"Hope you like painty seats then Officer, cause this is gonna be a nightmare." The cop winced for a second then tilted his head. 

"If you insist on being driven we're gonna be stuck here for a while." He scratched the back of his head, "I'm banned from driving at the moment." He blushed a little and suddenly Gwaine was desperate to know what had happened.

"We walking then? Cause if we are I fully expect to know why you're banned from driving." He smirked and the police man blushed harder.

"It's kind of a stupid story" he said. Gwaine didn't even dignify that with an answer, simply pointing at his painty hair and raising an eyebrow. "Okay you might be right there. Come on then, let's go felon."

"Gwaine." He corrected as they started walking towards the exit.

"Like the knight?" 

"You know most people don't get that, I'm impressed." 

"You learn a lot about the Knights of the round table growing up called Lancelot." Gwaine winced in sympathy, he thought being called Gwaine was bad.

"How drunk were your parents?!" He blurted out, only to clap a hand over his mouth.

"Nah it's fine, I think she was pretty high on pain meds at the time, must have been to think Lancelot was a good idea." The cop- Lance- shrugged. Gwaine turned to him and smiled brightly.

"So, how did you end up banned from police cars, don't think I forgot." Lance scowled at him. "Come on, you're making me walk through the town centre full smurf, the least you could do is tell me the embarassing story behind why." 

"Right then, I have this friend called Merlin and-"

"That little shit!" Gwaine cut him off, "This Merlin, skinny as heck and always wears a scarf?"

"That would be the one, I take it you know him." Lance laughed. "In that case you'll already know about how he always gets into the most ridiculous situation possible?"

"Well he got me arrested today so-"

"Yeah well he managed to get himself stuck up a tree for god knows what reason and I was driving past and I saw him, and I had no chance of getting up there unless I climbed onto my car to do it." Lance looked sheepish for a second. "Except my favourite song was on and I didn't really want to miss it so I left the car unlocked so the radio would play, I was off duty you know?" 

"So you're on top of an unlocked police car with the radio blaring, trying to get a full grown man out of a tree." Gwaine summarised, trying not to laugh and stop Lance from finishing the story.

"Yeah so I was trying to get into The tree to get him down and it was just not my day because I swear the moment my feet left the car It started rolling forwards down the off the road into this ditch cause apparently I hadn't put the bloody handbrake on."

"I thought you lot were supposed to be smart."

"Shut up, long story short it took a truck to get the car out of the ditch and the fire brigade to get me and Merlin out of the bloody tree."

"Oh my god really? The fire brigade?" Gwaine was laughing now, there was no hiding it.

"I swear I should have just cuffed you to one of the shelves and left you there." Lancelot said, throwing his hands into the air in false exasperation. "Let the people take pictures with racer smurf, menace of Toys R Us."

"Ah but then you would have missed my charm and wit." He said, puffing himself up and winking.

"I can't say I would have noticed." Lance said, voice carefully flat.

"You wound me brave sir Lancelot, I thougt Knights had to be nice to people."

"I thought smurfs were supposed to sing so I guess we're both disappointed"Lance shot back, not skipping a beat.

"If you're not careful I will, La la la la l-"

"Please no! Come on then, let's get you sorted out." Lance led him into the police station looking very smug. Just before he opened the door he turned and said- "and if you start singing again I really will handcuff you."

From there it all became a bit of a blur until eventually Gwaine was looking at the familiar insides of a cell. He found some of the places o his clothes where the paint was still wet and started using it to fingerpaint on the wall, if only to annoy Lance. He had just finished drawing a rather cheery looking Merlin in the full starry robe when there was a banging on the door.

"Seriously?! They're making me clean that up you know?" Came the familiar voice of Lancelot, "Can't you just wait until you get picked up?"

"Nope." He said, popping the P. "There's this really cute police officer here and I'm bored so I had to get his attention." He could just about hear Lance's eyebrows going up in the stunned silence that followed. Grinning widely he carried on- "you see, he's got this gorgeous hair, not as good as mine but pretty close you know? And then he's funny as well and that's just not fair but then again I don't really know much about him besides never to let him near a tree." He heard a guffaw at this, "But I can't decide if I like him because it all depends on what coffee he drinks really."

"Let's find out then, I'll buy you coffee tomorrow if you stop painting on the bloody walls."

"Sounds fair to me"


End file.
